Wednesday, June 3, 2015

My homeland is not for my baby

Sad but that it the truth. I am a scared mother.

I always thought I'd return one day, back to Kerala, Home Land, Gods own country. I was quite loud about it too. So when one asks us about settling here in this cold weather, my husband used to laugh and say, 'she doesn't want to settle here, she wants to go back to harthal, her rain, power cuts and vayikku ruchiyulla (yummy) language'. 

Bought a house, new friends, new job, better living conditions, more transparent system, nothing prevents my mind. But the news coming back from homeland turned from just another front page news to shocking ones. In my teen days, front page 'news' were most often political or about accidents. From what I have seen, the change of stories to abuse, atrocities, corruption are falling into the category of 'trending items' they are no longer 'news', it became something common, something happens every now and then. Something happing in your nearby vicinity.As a society, We started falling into a more open system, and that transparency revealed how prejudiced we are, how insecure we are, how vulnerable we are. Now many of the floating 'I and their 'ideologies' are grouping together to exhibit their 'power'. And they are dictating social norms. Earlier through time and experience new norms were settling in society, but now this group is dictating them, from what to wear to what to think, and how. Before my trip to India last year, this change is only visible among certain section of society. 

But I was WRONG, the attitude is changing. I can see that with my mother, our neighbours, my friends who are employed and unemployed in India. It is everywhere, from street to life's inner circle. 

Obtaining another citizenship was one of the heartbreaking things I have done, looking back, I feel yes, this is the right option for my child. He may be subjected to racial abuse, he may be an outsider for his peer group, he may face cultural identity pressures, but at least there is a legal system in place. He can breath fresh air and eat good food. He can think they way he feel and that is important. I don't regret now.


  1. I alsi belong to Kerala and I dont know if I could agree with your view.
    Our country is not flawless. But, so is every other country. Educated and progressive people like you who can voice your thoughts should be in our country. Thats the means towards development. Betterment at least!

  2. Oh, so sorry to hear this.

  3. Thank you for sharing this insight.
    The world is indeed changing.

  4. India loses good people like you and ends up in a state where she is now! I hope one day all these NRIs realize their true roots and help India make a better place...

  5. I can understand Deepa! I have written about the many flaws of our country in my posts. I have got many relatives residing abroad and we too visit them sometimes. But feel like coming back home always. May be generation gap. But my son doesn't like to! I agree with your thoughts of giving your son a better living atmosphere and in the back of my mind, I felt it is good. Still...

    You express yourself very well, Deepa. Will keep coming back to read them.

  6. whatevr the flaws, still its our country and if we can we should try to bring a the change. and there are so many good things too..its not all bad here..



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