We

When it rains…
I am there next to him
The rain drops were dancing just for us…
He holds me
And makes me hear his heartbeats…
I listened and rejoiced…
He looked into my eyes
And saw the ocean…
I closed mine…
My last vision was he
He smiled and looked seaward
He was feeling the rain, sea and me…
In the palms of his hands
I felt the fragrance of my life and destiny

When it rains
We were alone there
In that sea shore,
Freeze and crystallized…
When a wave hugged us
We melted
We flowed across the time and space
We passed through the silence of love
We blossomed in those unremembered seasons

When it rains
What unite us?
Only the boundless ocean
And the rain threads….
Make us tied together forever
Because still it's raining.

Breastfeeding in public? Is it against public morality to feed your hungry child?

Breastfeeding is not just feeding your hungry child, it is the most beautiful way of connecting with our child. More than having food it is the emotional reassurance a child seeking from his/her mother by way of breastfeeding. By nurturing your child, you are telling them, I am here for you -A HEARTBEAT AWAY. Irrespective of the fact that( all around the globe) health professionals are trying to promote breastfeeding -as it is so important for Infant health- under today’s settings, is it possible for us (mothers) to feed our hungry offspring  in public without the fear of camera phones (and later appear in some wearied whatsapp share)? OR at least a few people around you, whispering to each other ‘ how dare she is?’( looking at you and your child as some ugly creature falling out of the sky).

 I breastfeed my 15 month old son.  He got severe food allergies and he can’t have any other milk other than breast milk. In addition to this when his eczema breaks out the only thing which can console my poor soul is the warmth of my heart. As the outbreaks are uncertain, it may come when we are out in for shopping or in his playground. Then my adorable comes to me crying, demanding my attention in the best way I can provide. The solution is to breastfeed him. Keep him close to myself (If it is possible I go to the car to feed him or find a secure place like ladies wash-room).

Like any other mother I always try to keep it minimal and modest. Though, there will be a situation where you have your weeping boy  scratching himself till bleed out of desperation, trying to undress you for his food and then the only option left out is, rather than creating a scene, is to give him his food ASAP. Then again on many occasions while doing so, my friends warned me about cameras & staring eyes. By way of giving my child his feed I am not expressing myself in public. As I use extra layers  I make sure that I am fully covered. Even then I have seen people raising their eyebrows, men with that’ look’ in their eyes which makes you feel naked and equally a culprit of some awkward crime. You feel like shouting ‘you also grew with this, so please understand and go away’. This sort of surroundings make me nervous. If a mother is nervous it passes to the child and they became stressed out. So it will take longer to settle them. So it took longer for my son to settle in and it is the same case with many fellow nursing mothers I talk to.

Legal Right:

In The United Kingdom it is a mothers legal right[i] to nurse her child, unless you are in a one sex[ii] protected place and if someone's[iii] actions is disturbing her right to nurse then that amounts to sex discrimination. The protection covers you as long as you and your child decides to continue nursing. You can find similar provisions in many legal systems,  for example Affordable Care ACT 2010 and many state breastfeeding laws in The United States, Federal Law and Sex discrimination Act in Australia are trying to uphold a mothers nursing right.

Coming back to India, Unfortunately we don't have any legal right, what we have is moral police all around. So it is time to raise our voice against those eyes leading to a hungry child's lips.  Positives are in Kerala, where I belong to there is special places in Hospitals and public parks for mothers ( I hope it is in all hospitals and public parks).

So my request to all is PLEASE LEAVE THE  NURSING MOTHER AND HER HUNGRY CHILD ALONE. PLEASE ACT AS A CIVIL SOCIETY.

---

[i] In United Kingdom The Equality Act 2010 has made it illegal for anyone to ask a breastfeeding woman to leave a public place, such as a cafe, shop or public transport. 

[ii] Place exclusive for single sex man

[iii] Public bodies and service providers are included.

Self Reflection : 1

Life is a big adventure,
We should move on
Take risk, love and meditate over your goals.
Reach for them.

My homeland is not for my baby

Sad but that it the truth. I am a scared mother.

I always thought I'd return one day, back to Kerala, Home Land, Gods own country. I was quite loud about it too. So when one asks us about settling here in this cold weather, my husband used to laugh and say, 'she doesn't want to settle here, she wants to go back to harthal, her rain, power cuts and vayikku ruchiyulla (yummy) language'. 


Bought a house, new friends, new job, better living conditions, more transparent system, nothing prevents my mind. But the news coming back from homeland turned from just another front page news to shocking ones. In my teen days, front page 'news' were most often political or about accidents. From what I have seen, the change of stories to abuse, atrocities, corruption are falling into the category of 'trending items' they are no longer 'news', it became something common, something happens every now and then. Something happing in your nearby vicinity.As a society, We started falling into a more open system, and that transparency revealed how prejudiced we are, how insecure we are, how vulnerable we are. Now many of the floating 'I and their 'ideologies' are grouping together to exhibit their 'power'. And they are dictating social norms. Earlier through time and experience new norms were settling in society, but now this group is dictating them, from what to wear to what to think, and how. Before my trip to India last year, this change is only visible among certain section of society. 

But I was WRONG, the attitude is changing. I can see that with my mother, our neighbours, my friends who are employed and unemployed in India. It is everywhere, from street to life's inner circle. 

Obtaining another citizenship was one of the heartbreaking things I have done, looking back, I feel yes, this is the right option for my child. He may be subjected to racial abuse, he may be an outsider for his peer group, he may face cultural identity pressures, but at least there is a legal system in place. He can breath fresh air and eat good food. He can think they way he feel and that is important. I don't regret now.

Tears of gratitude

     

 It is so hard to see your toddler crying. It is heart breaking for any mother. But today when my toddler gave that emotional out break. I was happy. Yes of-course I was in tears, after the initial shock and what to do now emotions I decided to stay calm, irrespective of tears in my eyes. 

       It was another usual afternoon for me and my 14 month old son. After his normal afternoon nap, we decided to play, as he is interested in music, I play a few of his favourite songs on my PC and connect it to the TV screen. He is in that progression-stage; coming forth as a toddler from baby, unwrapping new things, springing up his own little unique personality and I can see it is shining through different things he does, like showing affection, do something comical ( if he finds we are laughing at it), show a kind of empathy by joining me during my mood swings especially if I am sad, dancing to some tunes he likes and the other regular baby behaviour.Before I go out to the kitchen for a glass of water I have seen Angu (my son) playing music on his cycle and dancing. THE HAPPY KID. After a few moments I came back to find out my son sitting idle, looking at the television with eyes filled with tears and he is almost having an emotional breakdown. Oh, what have I done wrong? He looks at me, then in his baby language said something weeping and then pointed out to the television. What is going wrong there? By accident, in the you tube loop I played one of  ITV's Britain got talent video where they are showing clips of a 9 year old boy crying during his performance and tears of that boy made my little man cry. It may be a usual child's behaviour to copy others, but I really, really hope it is not just that, it's MY BOY understanding and learning the much required skill of empathy, stand with (and for) others during their hard times, understand others, being compassionate and kind, acquire a non judgemental outlook towards life; those grater good one needed in life to live and exist as a human being. LEARN To become HUMAN.

Life is an every day dance.

It is an old image, taken few snowy seasons back. I don't know this girls, but I still remember the moment I met them. How cheerful they were, how enthusiastic they were and how happy they were? I often wonder what make people happy? Wealth? Health? Friends or Relationship? My answer is happiness is all about how we treat our life. How we take care of the moments we got. But is it an easy task? Live our days with out negative thought. Don't know about you, but it is very hard for me. Negative thoughts are like tangled wire, from one thought to another it form a mess we can't easily untangle. But there are few simple steps I often choose to over come these negative thoughts.

1. Smile 

Smile is the best way to feel good. Look at the mirror and remember a complement you get from a dear friend, recollect those moments and smile. If you are working or at home go for a small walk, get some fresh air and smile. For me smile is a confidence booster. Don't you remember all those facebook smiles we use. Yes it is a better way of communication a confidence booster.

2. Music

Do you sing? If yes sing as much as you can, all those romantic songs. Don't worry about tune or lines. Just sing. Or if u cant sing put on some music. It will ease of your pain and more sense of control for sure. Now music therapy is the new norm even in modern medicine. I always use my imagination and picturise those wonderfully written lines. Music has a profound effect, it not only improve our imagination but give as more concentration.

3. Spoil yourself with a favourite dessert:

Yes, a simple bar of chocolate can do wonders not a sugar addict then go for a favourite fruit.

Last but not least appreciate the life you got.

Keep smiling,
Yours
Deepa 

Child Labour Law Amendments a back lash on child labour :(

Indian cabinet recently through an amendment ban child labour below the age of 14, with an exception of working in some family businesses, entertainment and sports activities provided it shouldn't affect their health and education . I strongly believe this ban is not going to work because of the existing poverty. Many children are working in pathetic condition because of their poor circumstances.This legislation may also result in future exploitation of children. This will force many children under the age to continue working for their daily bread and the law is in fact diluted here in favour of child labour. Children are more vulnerable to exploitation they will continue to remain as low paid workers and exploited further.

Reference:
http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/politics-and-nation/changes-in-child-labour-law-acceptable-if-children-work-with-parents-kailash-satyarthi/articleshow/47436139.cms?from=mdr